I really do love astrology, as it can provide such a useful language for understanding psyche, human nature and experience. It has many different elements to it, both in terms of the signs of the zodiac, the houses associated with them that orient the natal chart in space, and the “planets” (which include objects that aren’t scientifically planets at all, such as the Sun, Moon, Pluto and certain asteroids and planetoids).
Something that concerned me very much when I was younger was the finding of the “True Will” which was talked of in Thelema. This was somewhat akin to finding your “real self” and your authentic direction in life. It was also a bit like finding your “genius” or contacting your “daemon”.
The time that I was really throwing myself into this was my twenties, and I probably had a fairly typical misunderstanding of what this would mean or look like. It was basically very bohemian, and you kinda thought you would end up as an artist, or magus, poet or, well you didn’t really know but it ought to be pretty wild. It’s an understandable misunderstanding, because it is going to be very individual, and it will be in contact with your creative wellsprings, and you will be being your absolutely unique self. Getting to that would involve some degree of taboo breaking, exploration and inner adventure. But that doesn’t mean that your “true course” is going to be of that nature in appearance.
When I found my true course, it was overwhelmingly about love, but it was also about healing and service. My self is always going to be pretty damn freaky, it has to be, but my function (or you might say my functional purpose) is a lot more homey and about caring for people and things.
You can actually see that in my chart. My Sun is very closely conjunct Uranus in Leo (freaky self), and forms part of a T square with Mars in Taurus and Neptune in Scorpio (I’s weird and I like it), while my Mercury conjunct Pluto in Virgo likes getting to the root of things and delving into the dark. The Sun of itself is not the self, but it’s position and what it is connected to in the chart does say a lot about your self and how you find it. I needed to find that stuff, before I could find my place. Thus my crazy twenties, my breakdown, my breakthrough.
My chart ruler though is Venus in Cancer, at the bottom of the chart, square to the Moon (in Aries in the 12th house), and that is a lot of my character. I’d only learn to properly own that during my breakdown.
My authentic path though, that I could see in my North Node (what I need to develop in this life), in Libra, conjunct expansive, beneficent, healing Jupiter (in Libra also), and mystical, trippy Neptune in Scorpio. All that in the 6th house of service and integration. That is what gives the emphasis on healing and service, and also on peace and relationship.
What I want to say from this is that the nature of your self and how you find it, is not necessarily similar to the nature of the authentic course you find you are meant to be following. But in your case they are interrelated, and you will find the resolution of that.
Thus my form of service and healing is Witchcraft. And I kinda look like a devil worshipper that thinks the world of my husband and family.
It all makes sense.16th February 2014: I know the term “service” is open to misunderstanding, thanks to the associations with self-abnegation and self-sacrifice that Christianity has tended to give us, but it is actually a perfectly good, and useful term.