And a good week it was, including incidentally the anniversary of the reception of The Book of the Law on 8th – 10th April.
I don’t know which night it was exactly, but near the beginning of the week I had trouble sleeping. I was upset about a long standing tooth problem which had made me feel ill on and off for three years. That threw me into a really negative mental state, the kind that scare me a bit, because of having been there very badly before in the past. Lying there, I reached out to a spiritual figure that had been central to my recovery in the past, a guru called Meher Baba. Meher Baba once described his role as “washing the laundry of human beings”, ie taking on their negativity and bindings, and helping them to become freer in consciousness. I focused on him, and simply asked him to take away my negativity. No analysis, no negotiation, just “please take this away”. And the burden lessened, the cycle stopped feeding, I felt relief and, no longer afraid or distressed, I went to sleep.
I’m not a follower of Meher Baba anymore (I was during a good deal of the 90s), but to say I appreciate him would be a massive understatement. He exemplifies, with an eloquence that only his silence could express, a redemptive and lovingly liberating function which I consider to be quite real. Funnily enough, I first heard of his silence in connection with the “Maat Current” of Thelema. So I’m not his follower, I don’t really deal in the term “God”, but he and what he does is spiritually real for me. That leaves me, not with an intellectual question of where I am in all this (which would not be that important), but what it is spiritually, and where it may be in the spiritual landscape that I live within.
I do consider description and experience to be more sophisticated than definition, and the redemptive function that I know exists with a figure such as Meher Baba is I believe not just “him”. When you have experienced the feeling, the function , the taste, then your nose and your tongue can be a guide. I think one sees the same quality in Christ and in Krishna, and the mystical vision of Rumi finds the same in his “Beloved”. As I noted in another recent post, astrologically I associate it with the planet Neptune. Neptune, and the sea, come to me as my nearest association, and the experience which lies at the heart of this deliverance from suffering and negativity is that of surrender. I let go, without question, and give it up to the sea-like, beneficent, divine intelligence.
That has been my guide this week, my hidden, emotional practice. Surrender, and subsequently, a capacity to feel gratitude. And that surrender is a possibility (and so a choice) where it comes to the emotional content of any perception or reaction.
On the way through the week we went and had a nice meal in Greenwich, just the other side of our locally serpentine Father Thames, and then went for a delightful shop at the See Woo Chinese cash and carry. It’s the only place I know you can buy incense, religious statues, lanterns, dumplings, fish, meat and (should you feel the need) bags of pure, powdered food coloring. We love the place.
Thanks to my husband’s intervention, I ended the week having the trouble tooth pulled by a dental surgeon, ending three years of problems in approximately five minutes. The relief was immediate and, so it seemed, pretty symbolic. A suffering that went back three years, gone, wrenched, disposed of, just like that. Freakin awesome.
Just gone, with a sense of peace and relief.