the difference between “nice” and “edible”

I used to go to a rune reader over a number of years in the 2000’s, and he used to say one thing to me repeatedly: “you are a spiritual innocent, you have to realize that there are monsters out there”.

It took me years to understand what he meant, for myself. I was really a complete walk over, even where I tried to be an intelligent, principled walk over. But there were so many things wrong with that unconscious position. Where to begin?

Many of us have had a very skewed view of the world at times, and one which (if I’m honest) is actually cowardly, though it tends to see itself as virtuous. People still carry around this baggage that there’s a “good God” in charge, despite there really being no sign of that. Maybe that has a deal to do with it, I’m not sure. But people try to be nice, or even just scrupulously neutral, on the basis of that being rewarded, protected and respected. I do think though, that along with all those high, esoteric “laws” like those of polarity or (kerching!) attraction, they should add a really simple one:

everything is looking for lunch

The trouble with being psychically really nice, is that it makes you really tasty. They’re gonna love you, but the way they love a medium rare steak. And when I say “they”, I overwhelmingly mean people.

If we were talking about children, I’d be right there on this. I can’t stand those hideous bruiser moms and dads that go on about “toughening up” their kids. Children are absolutely meant to be protected, including from other kids, who can be everything from just vile to psychopathic. Kids actually need to have a good something in charge, and that would be us adults, hopefully.

But adult life isn’t like that for us, and the psychic world isn’t either. There is a lot of good for sure, and lots of help, out of proportion (I’d say) to the risky stuff, but you don’t secure a good life by just being nice. If you can, then you can be sure that someone is doing part of your job for you, and you’re damn lucky, but that’s a  position dependent upon someone else paying.

This is what some of the New Age stuff is like, and some of the neopagan stuff. All that talk of “angels” that bear no resemblance to those hardcore biblical things, but look more like permutations on Farrah Fawcett. All that stuff that puts the world in the hands of a cosmic Mom or Dad, that through faith and spell work will deliver us from the bad guys. All the books of smart tricks, that mean you can be good, and super nice, and win, and enjoy it, and turn it into money that is simply “abundance consciousness” made magically manifest. It’s the stuff of childhood, poured on a desperately unchild-like world. As temporary valium for the traumatized I think it actually has its place. But it’s a partial fiction at best, which means it might not serve you, if you don’t have that story backed up with harder currency.

The fact is, even roses have thorns. And psychically, you either need teeth, or friends and allies who have. You need boundaries that stay up, and that means being able to push back. You need a self, and you don’t get to really know and own your self,  until you know and own the monster inside you.

And if you can’t be bothered to do that, then say hello to the dinner plate, because you were made for each other. Sorry, but that’s what growing up is like.

I don’t mean be an asshole, or be mundane and unimaginative, or invulnerable. I mean be in possession of yourself, and know that is no one’s job but yours.

Then you can make something good, and even make your world a better place.

Gargouille de la cathédrale Notre-Dame de l’Annonciation de Moulins by Vassil (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons



  1. I have learnt to listen and follow my inner voice over the years and try to teach people to do the same. That voice and gut instinct is there purely for OUR protection. We must drop conditioned overloads such as good/ bad, should/ shouln’t and all judgemental reasoning when listening to it.
    1 of the reasons why I loved reading Castaneda. Don Juan taught about dealing with power and there were no saccharine Angels there.

    • I agree herongrace, listening to intuition is a skill that needs to be developed and honoured, and that will lead us beyond our conditioning if we can follow it.

      There is always deeper to go though, and there are thresholds I think we sometimes cross, places that are really beyond our comfort zone, and then it is difficult to discern what intuition is telling you, and what other kinds of (conditioned) self protection are telling you. At least that’s how I found it myself. Maybe we just get to know more and more of our intuition, and where it meets and merges with the “real world” so to speak. I think guides and personal deities are a real help there.

      The only Castenada book I read was “The Eagle’s Gift”, which I loved, it was very magickal 🙂

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