midwinter bound

It’s a very dark time of year here, heading through Sagittarius towards the Solstice, and chilly with it. I’m happy our heating works as well as it does, and we have our little Yule tree up with its sparkly fibre optics. We have been doing a bit more “home making” here, and Phil did a wonderful job masterminding an altar in the kitchen, which is lovely, and has given a proper home to our Ganesha statue. I connected up a lamp for the corner near the South altar too, which makes that corner look warmer, and hung the black wolf’s head ornament that has been waiting for a place for about two years. We are having some beautiful sunny days too, which make the days a demonstration in extremes. I’ve lightened my nail varnish collection up to a chocolate brown which I like.

I had thought of doing a “forecast” for the New Moon, coming as it does on 22nd at the Solstice, but then I thought no. Moon astro readings is something I had started doing this year on the blog, but that feels like it’s run out for now. Given that we’re now burrowed down for Winter, it always seems like a good time to look back, and this has been a good, practical year for us. We found some good local friends that we could spend time with, people who understand about disability and some of the issues you face, but who are upbeat about it. That has been real fun, and even led to a great day out at the sea side. The British seaside is a natural psychedelic which shouldn’t be underestimated!

Near the beginning of the year we took a trip out to West London to visit a “spiritualist showcase” which was really good, it was interesting and the people were so nice and civilized. We still plan on exploring The Spiritualist Association a lot more. Paganism by comparison has just receded practically, and while we are still Pagan we have little connection with the Pagan community (except people who happen to be our friends). I definitely realized over this year that if something was “buzzing” in online Paganism, it was probably going to drive me either nuts, or to sleep. You can ask yourselves “how does the playground get to be grown up?” as many times as you like, but the simple answer is “leave the playground”. The estrangement from Paganism is nothing new, it’s just got to the point where there is no point, and the resultant peace is very welcome. Do your own thing. It’s always the best way.

Another thing that came up this year was that I came back to playing about with art for the first time in many years. I expect that to continue, and look forward to it. We also came to view ourselves as Warlocks rather than Witches, though “Witch” is the more inclusive term. My sympathy for Satanism has deepened if anything, though I do not consider myself a Satanist (I don’t think it would be an accurate description). I’m still interested in the subject of demons taken out of the black and white moral straight jacket, and all the things that demons have meant for different cultures. Relatively few people seem to know that the demon most people know from The Exorcist, Pazuzu, was himself an exorcist, and a useful guy to have on the team in the Ancient Near East.

In terms of looking at Tammo de Jongh and Richard Gardner‘s work, I feel like I’ve gone as far as I can for the moment in following Tammo’s contribution, but I still have more to do in giving representation to Richard’s work and vision. I’ve come to appreciate just how important Richard was, which was the last thing that Richard himself would have asserted, but someone needs to assert it I feel. It may as well be this blog, then people better qualified may continue the work.

Something that has emerged throughout this year is a spontaneous arising of a sense of Spirit, the benediction of Oneness, and innocence. Sometimes it has come from dreams, other times from other things, but it has kept coming, every so often. I’m not planning on being the “tasty morsel” on a plate that I once might have been, nor of letting my loved ones be so, but a reintroduction of innocence and the positively enchanting is a good thing. Gurdjieff used to say “work as if everything depended on work, and pray as if everything depended on prayer”, and maybe that is some of it. It’s probably time to remember that not everything depends on your work, all the time, and sometimes it can’t do so.

I’ll always be keen on the idea of the inner child, as it’s always been an important part of me. It’s a weird world, but a magical one, and we still get to be that true child. It’s the silver key, shining at the bottom of our clear stream.

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