Something I have noticed over many years is the way our “comfort zone” includes the amount and type of emotional-mental-psychic energy we are able (and willing) to accommodate, and allow to flow through us. I know the use of the term “energy” in this sense sounds very “New Age”, but I don’t have a more readily translatable term for the tangible flow of emotions and sensations which people experience as both atmosphere and internal state, sometimes independent of specific, rationally identifiable causes, such as a nice cool breeze, or that person shouting in the supermarket.
We have what we are comfortable with, in terms of environment, relationships and identity, and those things all have their own kind of energy signatures which we integrate relatively easily. When we are taken outside of that, either through external changes, or internal growth, we can feel very uncomfortable, anxious, uneasy or “out of sorts”. It’s easy to see how this would be unpleasant for us if it was a detrimental change (such as the onset of flu, or starting a stressful job), but even when the change is one of ultimately very beneficial personal growth, or the start of a relationship that we want, we can get the same kind of feeling. When your comfort zone changes, or is about to change, it is still getting out of your comfort zone (the habitual one), just in a different way,
These experiences can be very powerful, bordering on panic for some people, and they can act as brakes on growth, if a person chooses to retreat into their past level of “safety”, rather than relax and grow and let new life in. Of course, one has to be able to tell the difference between an alarm bell about a detrimental situation or state, and the false alarm that goes off, because you are about to pass a threshold in growth and just aren’t used to it. Reason, common sense, curiosity, and the awareness of the possibility of a growth situation are all helpful, as is the awareness that instinct, intuition, emotional prejudice and fear can all look a bit too much like each other at a certain level. But real intuition does develop over time, and it really isn’t that emotional.
With time you learn what passing these thresholds feels like, and probably some people are innately better at it than others, but everyone can learn to relax into transformative experiences, and observe how they go. The sense of panic and discomfort can still be surprisingly strong at times, but when you know what is happening, you can watch the process unfold with increasing gratification, and the satisfaction of a skill being successfully learnt. Remain open to yourself, listen to yourself, examine your objections; it will all be useful material being brought to the surface. But if you are truly living your own life, let life in.