I had a really rough time over the last day or two, due to people and events I’m not going to go into, but it’s reminded me of a few things which are important for general well being and functioning. Basically it is what we allow into our lives, and what we allow into our inner mental and emotional states. This is the sort of thing which people tend to refer to as “negativity” or “negative energy” nowadays, but what it really comes down to is inner (and outer) conditions or activities that cause you pain and suffering, or predispose you to it. The inner stuff tends to get characterised as things like hatred, fear, humiliation, shame, feelings of powerlessness in general, but as someone who likes to focus on individual experience I have to just say it is whatever does it to you.
Of course we need to sort out our outer lives, take responsibility for them, and either neutralise or remove the pain inducing factor (or remove ourselves from it). Getting shit from a situation is a pretty big message, especially if it is repeated. But there is also the question of our inner states, and our mastery of them. You should not make yourself any kind of victim in life, because contrary to our generally rather Christian derived morality, being a victim is not any kind of virtue calling for rescue (I’m not talking about the genuinely powerless like children and actual prisoners, or animals). Nope, it just makes you a liability in general. But we also become the victims of ourselves, if we don’t take responsibility for our inner states.
The bottom line is you have a choice. If a particular type of thinking, reacting or relating to people fucks you up, then just stop. Learn to avoid it. Learn to catch yourself out, and just let go of it. When you practice intention, you get choices. Meditation can help here (plain old watch-the-breath meditation). Doing things like self-Reiki, or similar energy work can help. Doing magic to “release negativity” can help, and it does work, because it is using intention again*. Meditation works because it assists you in observing your inner states and how they come and go, which helps you to “catch yourself out” and realize that your feelings and thought are not you. The other things work because they focus intention and energy on a specific goal, and intention does work. It’s magick, just not very glamorous magick. But you still have to stop doing whatever messes you up.
And of course if there is someone, or some people, who are giving you this trouble, rather than your own inner susceptibilities, and there is no big reason why they are otherwise worthwhile for you, then fergodsake walk away and don’t invite them back.
In all cases, simplify. It’s just good mental hygiene.
* I used to use black candles to release negativity before, and I still do. Now I’m a Satanist black also represents the purity of the life force, so that also works for me, but I would stick to one focus and intention at a time.
13th June 2015: edit to 3rd paragraph, without change of meaning.