A year ago today I became a Satanist. It was on Walpurgis Night, during our ritual that I “put out the call” so to speak and affirmed my interest to “the other world” (which you can take poetically if you like), and by the morning the call was answered with certainty. So you could say I became a Satanist overnight, Walpurgis Night into May 1st. Yesterday was also the 50th anniversary of the founding of The Church of Satan by Anton LaVey, in San Francisco in 1966.
Something in our life has changed in tone, and changed very helpfully, though you’d have to know us to realise it. Phil has always been ahead of me on this, but I have become formally unconcerned with what other people in general think of me. I used to like to think that was so before, but it was always “within reason”. Now it’s a principle. It’s not my place in life to be concerned with others’ opinions of me, beyond what directly impacts me and my loved ones’ well being.
It’s also clearer than before that sorting out the world’s problems is not my moral obligation. I have an interest, naturally, to a point proportionate with my power and influence (guess how big that is 😄) and the problem’s consequences. But political emotionalism has about as much effect on me as “feminine tears”. Here’s the kleenex darling. The whole “we’re all responsible, and we’re all to blame, what are we going to do about it?!!” ends up sounding like Maude Flanders to me. Show me practical solutions that aren’t based on something as ephemeral and disingenuous as “people power”, and things that just make you feel better. You know very well that “people” are a nightmare, which is why populist moralisers are always authoritarians at heart. People just won’t do, or care about, what they are told to. A great deal of our advances and solutions come from science as far as I can see, so I’m more inclined to put my expectations there.
Another thing that has happened over the last year is that my curiosity about aspects of the mundane world has revived, for the first time really since the 1980s. Intellectual curiosity. I think that is a sign of healing and strength, but the joy of making sense of the world is returning.
Sexually we have become more open and engaged as a couple, and we would both consider ourselves polyamorous, ie open to relationships of different sorts coming into our marriage, providing they are affectionate, honest and consensual, and have genuine regard for each others’ well being*. It’s something we have been moving towards for a while.
I think the most memorable things about the last year have been the times when we have managed to support or help a loved friend in some way, to help them grow. That might not be most people’s idea of a “Satanic” activity, but the joy and energy of seeing a friend come into their own, as the person they really are, is deeply fulfilling.
Being Satanists, and being committed to our own authentic selfhoods, has encouraged that.
Hail Satan, and the good life.* “each other” meaning everyone directly involved.