metamorphic quiet

Good morning 2017.

The light grows brighter and clearer, through the translucent casing of the chrysalis. I know something with a certainty, though I don’t yet know what it is. It comes from too deep to know exactly, but it is me.

A lot has changed for me over a period of time, very intensely.  I feel a sense of gratitude to be here. I feel almost like a child again, and like an animal. I breath freer.

I have struggled over the past year, as I imagine a moth would struggle within its casing, on the way from caterpillar to moth, a process deeper than itself, but so essentially itself. Solve et coagula.

A lot of things have changed on the inside, or maybe they have re-formed, reverted, awoken. Years, decades of faulty expectations, and accommodation with untruths, have fallen away, slowly or suddenly.

A lot of things I would have to say now, and that I see, would not go well with the “LGBT community” of which I was a part for about 17 years. Much might also be unwelcome for a lot of the Pagan community that I used to mix with. I feel like I have come to a reconciliation, a peace, with reality, both my own and the world’s, and that even when it is difficult or unflattering for myself. I feel relieved. I can start to get on now, as myself, who and what I am.

If you’ve read my blog over the last year, you’ll know that my sexual identification is no longer “gay”, though it is overwhelmingly homosexual. I think there are many different kinds of homosexual individuals, and we can be quite different in our natures, and we certainly don’t fit a political box. As far as identity politics is concerned, my advice is “if you want happiness, just get out”, because politics will not make you happy.

Politically I find myself at a delightful if surprising point. Looking at the UK I realise that if there were an election tomorrow I would not be able to vote for the Labour Party as it stands, with its ideological bent, the barely disguised neo-marxism of its leader and his faction, its feminism and identity politics. I could not vote for the Greens for similar (if more fuzzily expressed) reasons, and the fact that they shelter former Satanic Ritual Abuse fanatics. I could not vote for the Liberal Democrats, because they haven’t a clue as to what liberalism is, and they oppose democracy in overtly wanting to prevent the popular decision to leave the EU. None of them get my vote.

That basically leaves the Conservatives and UKIP, or not voting. Never thought I’d say that, but then I lived a good deal of my life brain washed by the Left. I don’t consider myself to be right-wing, but neither do I consider “right-wing” an insult. It’s only the extremes that are fucked, that’s equally for both Left and Right.

I’d actually consider myself a classical liberal, though I have a lot of fellow feeling for Libertarians. It’s funny that the people I find most common cause with now are conservatives and libertarians, but then I really agree with Jordan Peterson that conservatives and liberals (as in old fashioned liberals) need each other, and can learn from each other. Liberals and conservatives need to drop the habits, and start listening and talking. The only people who seem incapable of listening or teaching are the Left. They really do seem too far down the road of moral cultism.

It’s telling that the people I actually listen to regularly are Sargon of Akkad and Bearing, while I find Gavin McInnes a continual delight, and Milo just too good not to watch, for all the people he pisses off. It’s actually Sargon that I agree with most closely, and Milo the least, but I’d rather have stimulation, entertainment and ideas, rather than agreement and comfort within an echo chamber. One thing I will say though, is that while I really despise identity politics, I find it unfortunate in the extreme that transfolk have only just got on the train as it went over the cliff. I still feel a lot of respect and support for transfolk, but I think they are going to have to wrest their campaigns back from the SJWs* that would turn them into just another feather in their war caps. I’ve said this before, but if some identifies for life as a man or woman, acts as one, dresses as one, pays the price of one, then ferfucksake, give them credit. Life is hard enough, for everyone. Just give ’em the respect they deserve. But when it comes to the madness of people claiming there aren’t two sexes, or that you can have unlimited psychological genders and that’s still going to be socially intelligible, well really the people screaming about this are not your friends, because they are trying to prize you, and everyone else, away from reality, and no one is going to be happy or fulfilled by that, even if they managed to crowbar all of us off into space. So I see the SJWs using transfolk as their ideological battle standard, and the movement against SJWs then tearing that down, and I can see it’s inevitable, but please transfolk, get better representation than these arseholes, because at the end of the day they are not your friends.

Spiritually, I will have more to talk about in future, just as I will about sexuality and sexual identity, but that is for another day. All in good time.


A burnet moth (Zygaena sp.) emerging from its chrysalis. By Olkavk76 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons

* SJW = “social justice warrior” a pejorative term for the illiberal, self-righteous, moralistic activists that we see on college campuses and social media, most commonly associated with identity politics


1 Comment

  1. I moved home recently and from that point I will not be voting for any political party. There is also much to be said about the freedom of being not on the voters register, which only seems to benefit those that have no respect for privacy or liberty.

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