At this time there seem to be considerable mental pressures on people, notably to conform in what they think and feel, effected through controlling what is acceptable to express. Even if this does not intrude on your real physical life, people are barraged with it via the media and social media, and most of us probably have that “friend” or family member that feels compelled to do constant, low level missionary work for their righteous beliefs during conversation. At one time this might have been religious, but nowadays it seems to be overwhelmingly political. For some time now it has been near hysterical, cranked up in concert by the aforementioned media.

I’m a firm believer in people leaving each other alone, and that includes not trying to get at people passive aggressively, or through wearing them down with sniping, moaning and resentment. Be yourself, and let others be them. For real. Non-interference.

A large part of the world doesn’t seem to agree with me on that, so you have to take some steps to protect your independence and peace of mind.

I think the most important thing is to realise that what you think, feel and believe is your own business, and while you have no right to impose it on others, you have every right to express it freely, and accept that people may disagree or be offended. And of course they are free to disagree. But there is a difference between reasoned disagreement and challenging interrogation.

People reach their convictions often through their long term experience and reflection, not through chattering analysis. It might not make sense to you, but their mind is not yours to change or control. I don’t want to change people’s minds, that is their responsibility and privilege, not mine. I want to be left alone to live my life as I see fit. To treat people otherwise is to be authoritarian, and that includes when you think it is for “the greater good”.

So I think getting that straight in your mind is important.

The other thing is nurturing your inner world and tending to your own backyard. That’s what’s real and what’s important.

Boundaries, clarity, and a wall round the garden you tend for you and your loved ones.