draining the dam

I think I have spent a great deal of my life in a state of fear, or allayed panic, or dread, or being overwhelmed. And I’ve spent a good deal of it avoiding those states, and situations that might induce them. “Normality”, as I think someone might have once observed, is a near record-breaking act of acrobatic, high wire balance, when you see what is going on underneath.

I’ve been going through a fair amount just recently, one way and another, and I found myself with that frozen out, panicked, unable to cope with what I know, but unable to escape, or really even explain kinda feeling, which is somehow very familiar to me.

I did magic and I asked for help, the way I know how, and help I did get.

Suddenly, obliquely, while watching TV, I remembered the first time I had felt like this (though buried in biographical detail), when I was 10 years old. It was the day I remember my childhood as ending, and it occurred around this time of year, during the Summer holidays in 1969, before my birthday.

Looking back, I realized that of course this was the time in subsequent years, during my teens and twenties, when I would most commonly get this feeling developing. I even came to recognize that fact, that it was around mid-Summer, when the Sun was in the sign of Cancer. But I never made the connection with that first event.

And suddenly, something was released. Not quite like magic (though it was indeed magic), all totally at once, but in principle, like a tap, or a dam, had been opened down stream.

That has kept going over these last few days, and I understand, something is over, but it is like an entire history of emergency, emotional and mental reactions has got unplugged, deactivated, neutralized. As the water level sinks, my flooded life comes into view, and breathes again, almost as if 46 years hadn’t quite happened like that. It can all always have been different now, inwardly, and my islands join up, to make my landscape.

It is funny that this kind of healing should come at the time that I become a Satanist, but not so surprising. About 18 months ago I wrote:

I could see as well, that you need to come down here to do it, to the wasteland, to find the spring, the unsullied brook. That’s why demons are important, because they guard our innocence when the world has taken it away.

Of course that was not quite the sense of demons that I mean now, but it did say something, and intuit something. Healing that is deep and personal enough might not be done by the gentle hand entirely. The part of us that keeps both the wound and the cure is just not like that. The strong hand may be better. That’s why sometimes the soldier understands parts of the heart that the nurse cannot, and why sometimes the beast will love us best. Sometimes our healer must be fierce, otherwise it is no use at all.  Sometimes we need to visit the wasteland and see who has been keeping our innocence for us, and how untouched our brilliant, original hearts are.

So many Summers, never lost again.

Tackleway looking south-west – geograph.org.uk by Terry Head [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Happy Solstice

Yesterday was Solstice (a Summer one here), and today we lit a yellow candle to celebrate, mainly in looking forward to the heat of high Summer to come.

This time last year we were going to a fledgling revival of the old Pagan Pride March (it was actually a walk along the pavement). Now we aren’t even Pagan. I can’t tell you how glad I am of how far we’ve come.

It’s been a taxing 12 days for me, but I’ve learnt to let go and am doing ok now. I put it down to adjusting to the consequences of starting to really move – things change, friendships change, and things become apparent in your life which you weren’t so aware of before. Some of this is very happy, and some of it is distressing till you get it sorted out. But I’ve realized that whatever else I do, I have to let go, and I’m practicing letting go like the coming Full Moon is going to be the “Letting-Go Olympics”, just in case lol.

Things I’ve learnt (or been reminded of) recently:

How much people are addicted to others bowing down to their collective identifications and training. I’m group Y, you’re group X, you owe me, you can’t object.

Wrong!

Self-victimizing is a strategy for controlling other people by refusing to take responsibility for yourself.

And it’s pathetic.

If you want to help and support “vulnerable” people, be careful your actions are not mistaken for humility, and your “kindness” does not extend to failing to tell the harder truths. You will simply end up paying for lunch, and being expected to apologize for not sharing the same sufferings.

Some people just don’t seem to get that they have to walk the mile if they want to get a mile down the road. They aren’t the people who deserve a lift. Especially if they assume they do.

If you get caught up with any of these kinds of people, you also need to take responsibility for letting yourself get involved. Understanding how you kinda perversely did this to yourself will do you good in the long run.

Forgiveness is like flushing the toilet. It neither exonerates nor fights the crap, it just gets rid of it. But every so often, you’re inevitably going to have to do it.

Relax, and don’t waste any more time.

Here’s to the big let go.

Happy Solstice!

  Athirappilly water fall by Ajithaprasadmp (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Capricorn Full Moon

When I did a delineation of the New Moon which occurred only four days ago, I noted this could be a time for rest and just unplugging. For me I know I really underestimated the stresses I would need to be unplugging from, but yeah, maximizing rest and disengagement at this time has proved very necessary.

I’m now going to look at the coming Full Moon, as that can maybe tell me more about this process. Between the New Moon that seeds things, and the Full Moon which shows a culmination and acts as a kind of “attractor“, we might get a better picture of the quality of a time.

Here is the chart for the Full Moon:

First of all, it’s not till the 2nd July. Secondly, when I first saw this I thought “everyone just keep your heads down and ignore it”. But there are always silver linings. The restful potential of the New Moon came from a harmonious pattern made by Jupiter, Uranus and a Sun-Moon-Mars conjunction, but there was also a potential for undermining trouble from Neptune and Chiron. At the Full Moon everything has slipped round. The same kind of harmonious pattern is there, but this time it is Mercury that is harmoniously combined with the expansiveness and faith of Jupiter, and the freedom and independence of Uranus in Aries. Moreover, Jupiter is joined closely with a gracious but queenly Venus in Leo. There is some good self esteem that can be drawn from this, some solid values of self-worth that back up our independence and orignal insights, our individual positions. There is still a square from Chiron in Pisces to Mercury here, so there are wounds to be aware of, things we shouldn’t mentally re-wound ourselves over, but it’s not the Mars-Chiron square of the New Moon, nothing like as inflamed. Also to note here, Jupiter-Venus is squared by Saturn retrograde in Scorpio. That’s not nice for the regal pair in Leo, but it could be that some emotional perspective and forgiveness is in order. Water signs, feeling, is providing the challenges to the peace of mind and spirit of the chart, so how we handle feelings is key to how much good we do ourselves here.

The backbone of this Full Moon though is Sun conjunct Mars in Cancer, opposed by Pluto conjunct Moon in Capricorn. From my past experience, I’d say that when Pluto opposes something personal, it’s game over in terms of struggle. These are battles that can’t be won, power that can’t be challenged, perceived “injustices” that aren’t even acknowledged. These are circumstances where surrender and letting go are not only crucial, but unavoidable. And when we do surrender, we get deep healing, revitalization, a kind of rebirth. It can happen. The harder the conflict, struggle and dilemma, the more immense is the potential for connecting with your own real source of life and inner power, once you let go.

Mars here (maligned, demonized, indispensable Mars) is almost in an exact T square with the Moon’s Nodes, which means that it squares both the North and the South Nodes. The Nodes are in Aries and Libra here, and the growth potential is at the North Node (Libra), in the area of relationship, others, balance. Note: there’s nothing inherently “good” about these things as compared to the selfhood, spontaneity and independence of Aries, it’s just that the Node polarity is that way round at the moment. The South Node is where we have our “inherent” patterns stored in a sense (if this were a personal birth chart), our already achieved capacities, potentials played out, jobs done. The North Node is where the growth, the new, the potential to come is located. The relation between the two is important for growth and development. In this chart, Mars (which rules the South Node position) is square both ends of this. So how we handle everything that Mars comes down to: fight and flight, struggle, survival, drive, personal will, raw desire, the will to actively live, has what seems like disproportionate consequences loaded on it here, more especially as it is both conjunct our very life  the Sun, and opposed to Pluto.

If such struggles are activated in us during the time of the Full Moon’s influence (which could be taken to be this whole lunation cycle in fact), then these struggles could feel very primal, threatening, and even hopeless. Being faced with these feelings is important though, because how we respond to the spectre of defeat; real, personal, utterly humiliating defeat (I am laying it on thick here) that strikes to the core of us is one of our fundamental life lessons (or skills). Whether this affects you a little or a lot, the answer is surrender, letting go. There are battles you just can’t win, and the ones you notice aren’t the ones that aren’t crucially important to you. The benefits of surrender can be just as crucial. As if to underline this, the soothing aspects to the central oppositions of the chart are provided by Neptune in Pisces, which is practically the archetype of surrender.

So this chart seems to really say that we have to recognize the battles we can’t win (and they will be battles that are genuinely painful for us), and surrender, let go, and also forgive (remember that Scorpio Saturn square). If we do that we can heal some things very deeply, and connect with our inner life and true power.

And doing that, we can go our own way, the real kings and queens of our own freedom.

detail of photo depicting “the Burghers of Calais” by Julia Margaret Cameron [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons. Cropped and digitally solarized

broken hearted

I can seem very down on religion at times, and indeed I do have very serious criticisms of organized religions, their teachings and their apparent effects. However, I feel a lot of understanding for people’s attachment to their religions, and their need for it. I know that religion has historically been the repository of values both admirable and appalling, and of identities bound up with people’s shared sense of being human (an association I think is inevitably problematic). Religion is virtually the design on the nursery wall of humanity, but unfortunately it too often keeps us as children. It’s true that there are problems with religion, but also true that the  problems are not just with religion, but with all kinds of human society, at least as far as I can see. We work with imperfect materials, and we make progress like hallucinating builders, trying to discern reality from fantasy, benefit from harm, in the consequences of our creations, as everything constantly morphs, albeit sometimes slowly enough for us to hope for a subsisting progress.

I believe in the individual, and I am a Satanist myself, but I know that people are driven by pain and fear, and I know exactly what that does, and what the offer of shelter does. It’s the same process used in brainwashing, and what happens (however happily, you can hope) in every family on the planet. Human beings are malleable, vulnerable creatures. It can’t be my concern if the world is going to change; I have to be concerned with my world practically. But if there is a possibility of the world changing, and being less subject to fear of the individual, demonized source of all our talents and creativity, then understanding the people caught in religion is I think relevant. It’s honestly not that difficult, when you look into the eyes of common human pain. It doesn’t matter what I am, I am always going to feel closer to them than to some elitist plonker, because I know what it feels like.

We did see a quite astonishing documentary on TV about British jihadis, which was actually very emotional. There were quite a few people interviewed, some who had been really active in establishing the beginnings of the British jihadi movement back in the 80s and 90s. These were people who recanted their former extreme beliefs, and in some cases regretted the path they had taken with a kind of remorse that I don’t really have a sufficient word for. In almost all cases these youngsters (as they were at the time) had been driven by pain and deep problems, and had found shelter and solace and meaning, acceptance and a place, in a confluence of religion, distorted mentorship and the bad opportunity of foreign political conflicts. I don’t think the religious blue print was guiltless (to say the least), but it wasn’t so long ago that large swathes of young westerners believed that progressive change would only come ultimately through violent revolution or the use of force, and anything less was a bourgeoise naivety. But they were hippies and punks and students, and most of them weren’t actually going to do something. I remember that time. These muslim kids just had worse luck.

I think the situation has become somewhat different now, and I doubt that it all bears a resemblance to the people interviewed in the documentary. The horrors get worse and the recruiting has got crazy and chilling. The results are appalling. But I know people who grew up in the 70s and 80s with horrible racism directed at them and their children. Of course they will freakin’ well withdraw and stick together. I feel safer living in an area with a large Bangladeshi population (no “freak” or “queer” abuse from them, ever), so what the hell must they feel like? And then we have supposed left-leaning liberals who think they are being “progressive” by bowing down to religion and ethnicity. These are people that the mainstream society (at different levels) have applied both a carrot and a stick strategy towards, saying both “you’re hated” and “you’re welcome”, but only as something other, defined by traditional forms. I think there is a big place for secularism in our society, and we should not be giving religion of any sort political or legal power or privilege. But if you can break the spell, you are left with the people who needed the spell, just to live somehow. You will still have to look into the eyes of that need.

People don’t do deathly things because they want to die. They do them because it seems like life to them, compared to what they are getting away from*. That’s why they are a small minority within a minority. Religion is a factor, obviously a crucial factor, but it really isn’t the root cause of this. It honestly goes deeper.

Every psychopathology is attempting to articulate a resolution. If we want to solve that, someone needs to listen. Not accommodate the illness, not collude with the problem, but find out what is actually coming out of the throat of a situation. Because if you can’t understand hurt, you can’t understand anything about human beings.

documentary film maker Deeyah Khan with a British former jihadi – photo at http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/deeyah-khan/jihad-deeyah-khan_b_7583258.html

* I know this isn’t always so, people can be psychopaths and sociopaths, but those are more isolated instances

union or relationship?

Without going into too much detail (because the subtleties and variations really are a bit more complex), as a broad generalization, people characterize the spiritual goals of Right Hand Path and Left Hand Path in fairly diametrically opposite fashions. The Right Hand Path tends to get characterized not just by the control of things like desires and pleasures, and service to “the greater good”, but by the mystical goal of “union with the divine”, sometimes characterized as annihilation in God, or other forms of transcendent extinction. The Left Hand Path tends to get characterized not just by the acceptance and even indulgence of desire and pleasure, but by the development and ultimate realization of the individual self in godhood. The Right Hand Path involves union, the Left Hand Path involves (at some level at least) the fulfilment of separation and separate existence, though I would personally modify that terminology on the basis of the distinction between separation and individualization, and union and relationship*.

From my point of view, it is really not quite as simple or polarized as sometimes presented. However you want to envisage the Greater (or transcendent) Whole with which we supposedly achieve ultimate union (according to much orthodox mysticism), it seems clear to me that we actually are already one with it, but without loss of individualization. We might not be aware of it, but it is so. Of course, I do not believe in a “creator God” myself, but whatever it is which is referred to here, we are in a sense already part of it, albeit individualized, and capable of self-realization. I could never see why we would come from something, only to disappear back into it. There are all kinds of stories about God gaining experience in separation and multiplicity, but the most consistent of them that I am aware of make us the conscious ones, not “God”. But really, why go  through this just to go back again. It is all stories, but the more abstract they become, the more childish they sound to me. Yet there is a greater whole which we can find connection with, and benefit from, and find our place within (just not a pre-ordained or subsumed one). There is relationship. But it does not abrogate our individuality or our freedom, far from it.

Which brings me to the goal of Left Hand Path “mysticism”, which is the realization and liberation of the self. Here there are few stories, because rather than  stories, there is life, and moreover the life that you, and only you, can create.

My suspicion is that in the reality of mysticism and magick (rather than our definitions and thought structures around these things), there is only one basic thing, with immense freedom as to what the individualized consciousness does with it. It is not that “all paths lead to the same goal”, in the rather facile, greetings card way that is usually presented. But I suspect that anyone who has actually realized a truly deep mystical goal has got there by straying from every path except their own, whether their “tradition” allowed it or not.

screen capture stills from Invocation of My Demon Brother by Kenneth Anger on YouTube

* this might seem a bit academic, but I like words to have emotional as well as rational resonance.

mental hygiene

I had a really rough time over the last day or two, due to people and events I’m not going to go into, but it’s reminded me of a few things which are important for general well being and functioning. Basically it is what we allow into our lives, and what we allow into our inner mental and emotional states. This is the sort of thing which people tend to refer to as “negativity” or “negative energy” nowadays, but what it really comes down to is inner (and outer) conditions or activities that cause you pain and suffering, or predispose you to it. The inner stuff tends to get characterised as things like hatred, fear, humiliation, shame, feelings of powerlessness in general, but as someone who likes to focus on individual experience I have to just say it is whatever does it to you.

Of course we need to sort out our outer lives, take responsibility for them, and either neutralise or remove the pain inducing factor (or remove ourselves from it). Getting shit from a situation is a pretty big message, especially if it is repeated. But there is also the question of our inner states, and our mastery of them. You should not make yourself any kind of victim in life, because contrary to our generally rather Christian derived morality, being a victim is not any kind of virtue calling for rescue (I’m not talking about the genuinely powerless like children and actual prisoners, or animals). Nope, it just makes you a liability in general. But we also become the victims of ourselves, if we don’t take responsibility for our inner states.

The bottom line is you have a choice. If a particular type of thinking, reacting or relating to people fucks you up, then just stop. Learn to avoid it. Learn to catch yourself out, and just let go of it. When you practice intention, you get choices. Meditation can help here (plain old watch-the-breath meditation). Doing things like self-Reiki, or similar energy work can help. Doing magic to “release negativity” can help, and it does work, because it is using intention again*. Meditation works because it assists you in observing your inner states and how they come and go, which helps you to “catch yourself out” and realize that your feelings and thought are not you. The other things work because they focus intention and energy on a specific goal, and intention does work. It’s magick, just not very glamorous magick. But you still have to stop doing whatever messes you up.

And of course if there is someone, or some people, who are giving you this trouble, rather than your own inner susceptibilities, and there is no big reason why they are otherwise worthwhile for you, then fergodsake walk away and don’t invite them back.

In all cases, simplify. It’s just good mental hygiene.

* I used to use black candles to release negativity before, and I still do. Now I’m a Satanist black also represents the purity of the life force, so that also works for me, but I would stick to one focus and intention at a time.

Black candles by Vassil (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons

13th June 2015: edit to 3rd paragraph, without change of meaning.

Gemini New Moon

Not even a week since the last Full Moon, but here I am looking at the next New Moon, in nine days time. I think we’ve had a pretty intense month energy wise, and I’m ready for a nice, restful integration. Let’s see if it might be coming.

Well it sure looks simpler than some of the patterns we’ve seen recently, and I have stuck to the basic planets plus Chiron, to keep it clean. Sun, Moon and Mars are all closely conjunct in Gemini, with no challenging aspects apart from the thorn of a square to Chiron in Pisces. At the same time, the Sun conjunction is harmoniously aspecting Jupiter and Uranus, who are themselves trine to each other. The seed that is sown does carry some kind of healing challenge with it (connected with the experience and valuation of suffering), but its integral structure is harmonious, fortunate and capable of great vision and energy.

Sun, Moon and Mars, being in Gemini, are ruled here by Mercury, which is in its domicile in the same sign. The overall genius of this New Moon is communicative and intelligent, and it has a few influences feeding into it. A harmonious sextile from Venus in Leo gives warmth and grace to it, but just as the Sun complex had a challenge from Chiron in Pisces, Mercury gets a square from Neptune in the mutable water sign. This square sensitizes Mercury and opens it to a great potential range of perception, but it is not so great at transmitting accurate facts. Sometimes we have to choose between poetry and literal, factual truth, or between inner meaning and outer, material realities, because life makes one accessible and the other less so (in this case, the former rather than the latter). That is ok, so long as we know which is which. Confusion here can lead to misrepresentation, distortion of fact, and sensational consequences, but with the correct approach you can get a fine piece of music, rather than (metaphorical) substandard journalism.

This is also highlighted by the opposition to Mercury from Saturn, that requires some reality testing on the part of Mercury, and some kind of communicative ability from Saturn. Saturn’s retrograde introspection and reflectiveness has gone back into Scorpio here, laying off testing the Sagittarian fire and belief, which is a bit of relief, but it shows again that Mercury here, the mental climate of the time, is tuned more inwardly, and is testing for emotional accuracy. This is quietly demanding work, communicating emotional truth. Sometimes it really is ok to say nothing, and search for a true signal to listen to. Mercury does closely and harmoniously aspect the Node axis though, and that gives whatever work Mercury is doing here a good relation to growth challenges and potentials, involving the Libra-Aries axis of relationship and selfhood. I think that’s another indication that if we ease back and let ourselves pay relaxed attention, then we can actually chill now.

The Uranus-Pluto square is still in aspect, and that does continue to give an edge to the chart pattern, which we should really be used to by now. It’s alleviated somewhat by a sextile to Neptune in Pisces, the most transpersonal of planetary combinations, but a harmonious one which has been in place for generations. It’s an aspect that tends to bring about relative liberality in the spiritual and social currents that it conducts. Undercurrents so deep we never notice the ticking of their clock. This last sextile began in the 1940s, it’s with us now, and it will be the 2040s before it is lost to us on this run. That’s the kind of scale of these planets’ interactions. But although this is a relatively benign spiritual and social mass-aspect, you can see that in this chart it grates on the central pattern of the New Moon. We are concerned with different work here, far more individual, and it can’t take too much notice of those mass, social things, if it is to actualize itself. There’s an unplugged quality to this New Moon which is quite restful.

Quiet, personal work. Take the phone off the hook, switch off the news and get away to your own place, where you can think your own thoughts and mull over your own feelings, or the quiet within.

Do not disturb sign by Phrontis (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

too much to handle?

Something I have noticed over many years is the way our “comfort zone” includes the amount and type of emotional-mental-psychic energy we are able (and willing) to accommodate, and allow to flow through us. I know the use of the term “energy” in this sense sounds very “New Age”, but I don’t have a more readily translatable term for the tangible flow of emotions and sensations which people experience as both atmosphere and internal state, sometimes independent of specific, rationally identifiable causes, such as a nice cool breeze, or that person shouting in the supermarket.

We have what we are comfortable with, in terms of environment, relationships and identity, and those things all have their own kind of energy signatures which we integrate relatively easily. When we are taken outside of that, either through external changes, or internal growth, we can feel very uncomfortable, anxious, uneasy or “out of sorts”. It’s easy to see how this would be unpleasant for us if it was a detrimental change (such as the onset of flu, or starting a stressful job), but even when the change is one of ultimately very beneficial personal growth, or the start of a relationship that we want, we can get the same kind of feeling. When your comfort zone changes, or is about to change, it is still getting out of your comfort zone (the habitual one), just in a different way,

These experiences can be very powerful, bordering on panic for some people, and they can act as brakes on growth, if a person chooses to retreat into their past level of “safety”, rather than relax and grow and let new life in. Of course, one has to be able to tell the difference between an alarm bell about a detrimental situation or state, and the false alarm that goes off, because you are about to pass a threshold in growth and just aren’t used to it. Reason, common sense, curiosity, and the awareness of the possibility of a growth situation are all helpful, as is the awareness that instinct, intuition, emotional prejudice and fear can all look a bit too much like each other at a certain level. But real intuition does develop over time, and it really isn’t that emotional.

With time you learn what passing these thresholds feels like, and probably some people are innately better at it than others, but everyone can learn to relax into transformative experiences, and observe how they go. The sense of panic and discomfort can still be surprisingly strong at times, but when you know what is happening, you can watch the process unfold with increasing gratification, and the satisfaction of a skill being successfully learnt. Remain open to yourself, listen to yourself, examine your objections; it will all be useful material being brought to the surface. But if you are truly living your own life, let life in.

“Stealing off” by James Gillray [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

gods, demons and stories

I have a reasonable amount of personal history as a polytheist, relating to gods as independent entities with which we can form relationships. With neopagan polytheism one has varying amounts of mythology and lore to draw upon, and everything you can find is potentially helpful in finding your gods, and making relationships.

Paganism in general seeks collective identity and validation in groups, communities, traditions and paths, whether they are based on things like Wicca, or on specific pantheons that had historical communities of devotees. Some of the more symbolic approaches to pantheons and mythologies treats them as role models and reflections of what is possible or validated in a culture. Others treat their stories as having far deeper meanings, beyond psychology, politics or sociology.

For those who might be termed “hard polytheists”, the mythology and lore is of great value generally, but the god is an individual, not a job description, and the relationship is not predictable. The god is a person (though not a human one), not a cog in a celestial computer, no matter how awe inspiring. This is one of the things that made the disclaimer of UPG (unverified personal gnosis) rather meaningless but telling. Gnosis is always personal, because it is a direct experience, and despite some thinking that they have the low down, the idea of verification is stretchy and subjective at best.

Nevertheless, the stories that we have told ourselves about the gods, that we have received and repeated, they do have implications for the collective that accepts them. We hold stories up as mirrors to ourselves; how we see ourselves, how we want to see ourselves, and even sometimes those things that we would rather not recognize.  Our experience of the gods, on the other hand, is intimate and individual.

When it comes to Satanism we have a spiritual movement which collapses the moral authority of any collective or society. The individual is definitively sovereign in Satanism. For theistic (and polytheistic) Satanists, we have all manner of what are effectively deities, though we often refer to them as demons. Some of these appear (from their names) to be what were once Pagan gods and goddesses, and some can’t be so easily placed. Yet what they all share is the dissolution of an overarching cultural narrative. We have a plethora of actors but no pre-set story, which is fascinating, because polytheistically, if one is not worshipping a story or a culture, then you again have actors (more properly persons), and the story may give you an understanding of the deity, but does not define them, and less still does it describe a narrative that the deity is somehow fated to repeat endlessly.

We have to forget the conventional moral implication of the word “demon” in Satanism of course, but more importantly, I think we can consider what it means, when the individual Satanist meets gods that have become free of collective story.

Is it for nothing that we somehow mirror each other in this one respect? That we find ourselves free of judgements and cultural stories? I think at the very least the circumstance is poetic, interesting and potentially companionable.

Of course they may have stories, histories untold, and a world our imagination might apprehend and relate. They certainly have characteristics. But in our world as Satanists, the meaning is the individual, their empowerment and fulfilment. We call what reflects our deepest meanings. I believe we call, and are called by, what we are already in relation with, whether we know it or not.

What story will you write for yourself today?

Dr. Fausto by Jean-Paul Laurens [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons